Walking in Beauty
by Mistress Lust and Blood
Summary: A person from Dib's past comes back, causing some trouble in Dib's and Zim's already shaky relationship. Some ZADR.
1. One Lazy Morning

Chapter One- One Lazy Morning

Dib opened the refrigerator door drowsily, the cold air chilling his bare chest. He looked around at the contents inside to try and find some sort of sustenance he could call breakfast. His eyes switched back and forth between the carton of orange juice and the last can of Poop Cola. Gaz wouldn't be back for another week, so she couldn't pound him for drinking the last soda when she wasn't around to claim it.

"You want anything," Dib asked, reaching for the cola.

"No, I'm fine, Dib-worm," Zim said.

Zim was sitting on the counter directly across from the fridge, watching Dib closely as he moved about the kitchen. His boots were somewhere upstairs, along with his gloves and shirt.

Dib opened and closed cabinet doors, still searching for something to curve his hunger. But nothing looked very appetizing.

"I don't understand how you survive on this planet, Zim," Dib stated, heading towards the pantry.

"What do you mean," Zim asked, not sure if that was suppose to be an insult or just an observation.

"You've been here about five years and I've never seen you stomach actual Earth food," Dib said, rummaging through the pantry, "You _do_ eat, right?"

Zim raised both eyebrows lazily at the question. "When I can," Zim said, "I have to order food from my home planet."

Dib stopped for a moment and thought about that. How sad that must be. He now realized why Zim was always so cranky. He was starving.

Dib sighed at the sad thought and grabbed a nearly empty bag of chips. He poured what was left into his palm and quickly downed the handful of crumbs.

"Eh, there's nothing to eat in this house. I need to go by the store," he said, tossing the empty bag into the trash. He noticed Zim was in deep thought, so he walked over to him and leaned on the counter casually. "So… do you want to hang around and watch a movie or something," he asked, wiping a stray crumb off his face and opening the can of soda.

"No," Zim said, sliding off the counter, "Gir will have most likely broken something, occupying the rest of my day with repairs."

Dib smiled a little. Gir was very predictable, and Zim usually knew what he was talking about when it came to that little blue-eyed robot.

"Maybe later then," Dib called out after him, "Dad and Gaz won't be back till next Sunday. Stop by tomorrow and we'll do whatever."

Zim stopped at the doorframe and looked over his shoulder at Dib. Without saying anything, he made it known that he would probably take him up on that offer. And with that, he made his way upstairs to retrieve his personal items, including his clothing and human disguise.

Dib just smiled a bit and shook his head. He lazily dragged his feet into the living room and plopped himself onto the couch with a content grin on his face. He closed his eyes and breathed out once.

"Three, two, one."

"WHERE IS IT?!?!"

"Bingo," Dib said with his mischievous smile.

Almost immediately, a fully dressed Zim came whirling down the stairs irately. He dashed over to the couch and jumped over the back of it.

"Where is it," Zim demanded, leaping onto Dib and pinning him down against the couch.

"Where's what," Dib asked, making it painfully obvious he was up to something.

"Where are my plans," Zim hollered, pushing Dib a little harder.

"You know, you really shouldn't leave stuff like that lying around your rival's house, Zim," Dib said with a grin.

"Dib-Stink! I swear, I'll… I'll," he stuttered.

Dib lifted both eyebrows mockingly, waiting for Zim's threat.

Zim paused, just glaring down at Dib. His mind raced with several things he could do to Dib to get his plans back. But… that face…

"_Please_ return my plans," Zim said semi-calmly, still straddling Dib on the couch.

Dib smiled in surprise at the request. "Wow, Zim. Please? I'm really impressed," he said, putting his soda off to the side and grabbing Zim by the waist. "Who knew you could be so polite."

Zim nearly trembled at the familiar feeling of intimacy. But he shook it off, remembering that he not only had work to do at home but really needed those plans back. "Are you going to give me those plans or not," Zim asked impatiently.

"Zim, put yourself in my situation," Dib said, still smiling. "What would you do if you found someone else's plans to blow up _your_ home planet. Would you give them back?"

Zim thought that over for a moment. He most certainly wouldn't, but this wasn't about Irk. It was his job to take over this planet, whether Dib liked it or not.

"I need them back, Dib," Zim stated unyieldingly.

Without warning, Dib threw Zim onto the couch and pinned him down. "Well maybe you can earn them back," Dib said playfully, sticking his hand underneath Zim's shirt.

In that one instant, Zim nearly lost all control of himself. The feeling of Dib's strong hand caressing his chest made him quiver in lust. But Zim quickly remembered what was going on and he grabbed Dib's wrists to make him stop.

"No," he stated, "I have too much to do."

Dib looked a little disappointed, but got off of Zim and sat back down on the couch. Zim sat up and straightened his shirt.

"If you won't give them back, I'll just rewrite them from what I remember," Zim stated, standing up.

"Hold it, Zim," Dib said. He picked up one of the couch cushions, revealing a long white tube that held Zim's blueprints.

Zim glared at Dib for putting them in the most obvious and ironic spot. But he picked it up and started heading towards the door.

Dib got up and followed him. He grabbed the knob before Zim could and opened the door for him. Zim glanced at him as he walked outside. "I may take you up on that offer later, Dib-Stink," he said without turning around.

"I look forward to it, Space Boy," Dib said with a satisfied smile. After Zim made it to the sidewalk, Dib closed the door and leaned up against it, grinning to himself.

"His plan's flawed anyway."

* * *

_This story is in no way related to my others. It is a completely different IZ interpretation. So please, if you have been nice enough to read any of my other stories, don't dwindle on them. Thank you, my readers! _


	2. A Familiar Face

Chapter Two- A Familiar Face

Dib skimmed over the large shelf for the _good_ peanut butter. But it was always so hard to find amongst the hundreds of other choices. After Zim left, Dib had showered and drove over to the grocery store to pick up some food for the rest of the week. He did not usually do the grocery shopping, so it was pretty hard for him to find the specific jar that he liked.

"Why do they need so many types of peanut butter anyways," Dib asked himself out loud. A lady past by him and gave him a questioning look. Dib cringed at the sight. "I really should stop talking to myself," he said.

The basket on Dib's arm was getting really heavy, so he put it down for the moment. He'd filled it with an assortment of semi-junky foods along with a couple issues of different science and paranormal magazines. Since he was free for the week, he figured he could get what he wanted.

Suddenly, something out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. There, at the end of the aisle, was someone he thought he recognized. He stared for a moment before the person turned the corner and walked over to the other aisle.

"Was that…? Nah, it couldn't be," he said to himself. But to satisfy his curiosity, he quickly walked in the direction the mystery person had left. He peeked around the side of aisle, but no one was there. He tried the next aisle over. But again, nothing.

"Looking for someone," a voice asked from behind him.

Dib nearly jumped two feet in the air. He whirled around to find a pair of chilling eyes glaring at him.

"Hello, Dib," Tak said with an annoyed stare.

"Tak?! What are you doing here," Dib said in a threatening tone.

"Shopping," Tak said blandly.

Dib looked down at her hand to find a shopping basket. It was filled with normal earth foods and necessities, nothing strange or suspicious at all. But Dib was not fooled.

"What are you up to," he demanded, staring daggers at her.

Tak squinted at him as if she did not believe what she was hearing. She didn't want to deal with this right now, so she just turned around and started walking away.

Dib looked a little confused. "Hey! Wait," he said. "You can't just walk away!"

He ran around in front of her and skidded to a stop in her path. "You are supposed to go into a big, long speech about why you came back! Then you give me a hint to what you are doing and I'm supposed to try and foil your plot! That's how fanfiction works!"

"Well maybe I'm sick of that stupid cliché! Why can't I just go to the grocery store without it being this big long dramatic chapter of my life! Did it ever occur to you that maybe I'm just here to pick up some butter, or milk, or tampons," Tak screamed into his face.

"But… Irkens don't have periods," Dib said, the side of his mouth curling up in a disgusted look.

"That's beside the point! Ugh!" Tak screamed in exasperation. "Here! You want to talk?!" she asked, taking out a scrap of paper and pen that seemed to come out of no where. "We'll talk," she said, scribbling down something. She wadded the paper up in her hand and threw it at Dib's head. And without saying another word, she stepped around Dib and walked off in a huff.

Dib just kind of stood there, not exactly sure what just happened. He blinked a few times, his face frozen in a gaze of confusion. He looked down at his feet where the wad of paper had landed. He reached down, picked it up, and opened it.

"Sweet Tooth Candy Shoppe… tomorrow at 2:00," he read out loud off the paper.

He raised an eyebrow. Could this be a trick? There was a good chance that might be. It would be a great plot twist, to have Dib show up at the store unarmed, only to be attacked and raped by Tak. After all, this story is rated M for mature, is it not? I wouldn't want to disappoint all my horny readers.

"Mistress Blood!"

What is it, Dib?

"Would you kindly get back to the story? You're going off on a rabbit trail."

Fine. Dib smacked himself in the head.

"Ouch! Cut it out!"

Don't tell me what to do or I'll have Sizz-Lor anal rape you.

"Alright! Geez! Do whatever you want!"

Thank you. Now, getting back to the story, Dib stood there thinking about what to do. Tak did not seem like her usual self. She almost looked tired and sad, as if she hadn't slept in ages. Her eyes were bloodshot and she stood with less confidence. He almost couldn't help himself but feel sorry for her, even though he had no idea if she even deserved sympathy. For all he knew, she could have had bags under her eyes from staying up all night building a giant doomsday device. But on the other hand, maybe she hit hard times and needed someone to talk to?

Dib stuffed the paper into his pocket and returned to his basket. His head hurt from thinking about his predicament too much. Maybe all he needed was a night's sleep to decide.

* * *

_Sorry about that... I need to have a talk with my characters about interrupting me while I'm writing. _


	3. One White Lie

Chapter Three- One White Lie

The door knocked very loudly, loud enough for Dib to hear it all the way upstairs in his room. The sound was enough to wake him from his peaceful sleep. He groaned in annoyance and glanced at the clock on his bedside table.

"Nine in the morning," Dib pointed out with a groan.

The knocking wasn't going away, so he reluctantly got out of bed and put on a shirt. He grumbled to himself as he went down the stairs to the front door. And upon opening it, he found an annoyed Zim carrying a pillow, blanket, and a whole bag full of assorted alien snacks.

"Would you mind answering your door a little quicker? I nearly broke my wrist from knocking so much," he complained.

Dib gave him a drowsy, questioning look. "We have a doorbell, you know."

Zim's eyes shifted right to left in embarrassment. "I knew that! Of course I knew that! Who says I didn't know that?!"

Dib didn't even answer him. He just looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

Zim stood in silence, staring back at Dib, as if waiting for something to happen. "So… are you going to let me in," Zim asked impatiently.

"Yeah, sure. Come in," he said, opening the door a bit wider so Zim could come in.

"So… a movie, huh," Dib asked, scratching his well-toned butt and heading towards the kitchen.

"That was your original suggestion," Zim said, throwing his buddle of stuff on the living room floor. He began making a comfortable nook for himself on one side of the couch using his blanket and pillow. Originally, he never liked these human devices of comfort. But as the years went by, he became more accustomed to several earth practices, such as the viewing of movies, the devouring of sugary snacks for no reason, and of course, the casual, non-binding acts of mating.

"Alright," Dib said, pouring himself a glass of orange juice, "We've got… _Bourne Identity, Fast and the Furious, The Last Samurai, Brokeback Mountain, Pirates of the Caribbean_…," he started listing the ones he remembered.

"_Pirates_ sounds good," Zim called to him from the living room. He stepped back to admire his handiwork and ultimately decided he was satisfied with it.

Dib walked into the room groggily, a glass of juice in one hand and a movie chip in the other. "Just a warning to you, Zim… you can't stay very long. I have to be somewhere at two," Dib said, putting the chip into its slot.

"Fine," Zim said carelessly, "Where are you going?"

Dib thought for a moment, still messing with the television. There was no need to get Zim worried or involved. It would probably only complicate things. "The doctor," he answered, "I think you hit me too hard in the jaw last week, because it hurts like hell to chew," he lied.

"Sorry," Zim said, watching Dib as he sat down.

"It's okay. Let's just enjoy Captain Jack," Dib said, pressing play on the remote.

* * *

The image of Elizabeth Swann and William Turner in a dramatic kiss stood frozen on the television screen. Obviously, the movie had been stopped for more interesting activities.

Dib moaned loudly against Zim's mouth. He was pinned beneath the alien on the couch, getting felt up like there was no tomorrow. His shirt was strung over the back of the couch sloppily while Zim's had been flung across the room somewhere.

Suddenly, in the middle of all their fun, Dib's watch started going off. He looked at it and sat up quickly, causing Zim to stop. It was twelve o'clock and he still needed to freshen up.

"Something wrong, Dib-Stink," Zim asked, a little confused.

"I'm going to be late," Dib said, grabbing his shirt.

"For your doctor's appointment," Zim asked.

"What? Oh, yeah," Dib said, getting up from the couch and turning off the television, "I still need to take a shower and get dressed. If you need anything, help yourself," he finished, running up the stairs.

Zim sighed, watching Dib through a furrowed brow. This was more an annoyance than anything, but he figured they could pick things back up once Dib got back from his appointment. But for now, he would go home and work a little. So he began bundling up his things and searching for his missing shirt.

"Now where did it go," he asked himself out loud.

* * *

Dib came down the stairs dressed in his usual black trench coat and smiley face shirt. It was almost impossible to make out the bullet proof vest he wore underneath it or the laser gun hidden in his coat.

Zim was sitting on the couch, fiddling with some small electronic gizmo.

Dib straightened his collar. "I'll walk you out," he said, heading towards the front door.

Zim picked up his things and walked out the door. Dib closed the door behind them and locked it.

"Come back in about two hours if you want. We'll have some more fun," Dib said as they neared the sidewalk.

"We'll see," Zim said, proud and aloof.

Dib rolled his eyes a little. There was no doubt he'd be returning, especially since Dib's house was open for the rest of the week. Zim was just too proud for his own good, one of the reasons he was so hard to get close to.

* * *

_Another chapter for you to feast your eyes upon! Upon? Who says "upon" anymore? Maybe snotty English professors... but no one else. _


	4. The Candy Shoppe

Chapter Four- The Candy Shoppe

Dib stood in front of the Sweet Tooth Candy Shoppe, contemplating his next move. The store was teeming with parents and children, pointing at various candies or asking for their favorite flavor of milkshake. It seemed like such a happy setting, certainly not a place for discussions of earth's security.

Dib breathed in and out slowly. And with a newfound determination, he walked through the door, sounding the charming little bell as he entered. The sound caught him off guard and he looked around suspiciously as if his cover had been blown. But no one really paid much attention to him.

Dib looked around the store for a familiar head of blue hair. And when he spotted her over by the counter looking up at all the delicious candies on the shelves, he couldn't help but smile a little. Her arms were crossed over her chest, scanning the shelves with her eyes as if her selection in candy was as important as picking a weapon for a battle.

_It must be an alien thing_, Dib thought to himself, stilling smiling at her uptightness.

He casually sauntered over, standing just behind her. He opened his mouth to say something clever and suave, trying to catch her off guard.

"Nice of you to show up," Tak stated before Dib could even speak.

Dib closed his mouth, stunned by her innate awareness of her surroundings. "I don't understand how you do that, but I'll figure it out sooner or later," Dib said, cracking a sly grin.

"Well good luck with that," she said sarcastically, still gazing at the candy shelves.

"What were you thinking about getting," Dib asked, curious to see if she was actually going to attempt to eat human food or if she was just fascinated by the concept.

"Those giant lollipops look pretty good," she said, nodding her head in their direction.

Dib glanced over at the big spiraling lollipops. They came in many different colors and sizes, their surfaces gleaming with sugary goodness. "Really," he asked.

"Yeah, I bet they're pretty tasty," she said completely serious.

She raised her hand to get the candyman's attention, but Dib put a hand on hers and lowered her arm. "No, I got this," he said, trying to be the man in the situation, "Sir! Two giant lollipops, please!"

Tak raised an eyebrow at him, but also smiled in somewhat surprise. What did he think this was? A date?

The candyman grabbed two lollipops off the shelf and brought them over to the cash register. "That will be seven ninety-five, kid," he said holding out his hand for the cash.

Dib dug around in his pockets nervously only to produce a wad of cash and change amounting to five bucks and thirty-one cents. He blushed deep red, putting the money on the counter. "I guess only one lollipop then," he said timidly.

Tak chuckled silently at Dib's attempt. Even though he was making a complete idiot out of himself, it was strangely cute.

Dib paid for the lollipop and turned towards Tak. "For you," he said, presenting it to her.

Tak just looked at it for a second, her strong Irken arms still crossed over her chest. She gave him an unimpressed smile and took it. "How kind of you Dib-Human," she said, leading him over to a small table for two.

Once they sat down, Tak immediately handed the lollipop back to Dib. He looked a little surprised at her return of the gift and almost felt embarrassed, like he should know better than giving gifts to old enemies.

"Could you open it for me," she asked suddenly.

In that moment, a wave of relief came over Dib. So naturally he began doing everything within his power to get the stubborn wrapper off. And after quite a few attempts, he succeeded. And so, he held it out to her once more, satisfied in his ability to get wrappers off of things.

Tak smiled and put her clawed hand on his, holding the lollipop with him.

"You paid for it, so you at least get to share it with me," she said, her eyes sly and piercing.

Dib blushed a little. "No, it's okay. It's for you," he said uneasily.

"But I insist," she said, her intense voice ringing in his ears.

It seemed Dib had no choice. So, very cautiously, he bent down a little closer to the large candy delicacy and licked it gingerly. At the same time, Tak leaned in as well. Her long, Irken tongue slithered out of her mouth and began licking the sugary treat. Their eyes were locked on each other, intense and unmoving.

After a few moments, Dib pulled back. "So, I suppose the whole reason we came out here was to talk," he said, taking another lick.

"I guess so," Tak answered. "Where should we start?"

"Well… at the beginning I suppose," Dib stated simply, "Why have you come back to earth," he asked, beginning to remember why he had brought along a ray gun and a bullet proof vest in the first place.

Tak looked away uneasily. "I might as well tell you."

Dib settled into his seat, feeling a long story coming on.

"After you and Zim defeated me, I tried going back to my home planet to build another ship. But I soon learned that a bounty had been put on my head. Somehow, my last seven years on Planet Dirt were erased from my records, so they thought I went AWOL. I was on wanted posters, bounty hunters were after me, and I couldn't walk down the street in broad daylight without someone recognizing me," she explained.

"So what did you do," Dib asked, completely enthralled with her story.

"I commandeered a ship, deactivated the universal positioning device, and flew here to earth," she said, her eyes sad and lonely, "I don't know if I can ever return."

"But couldn't you have explained to them that the records were wrong," Dib asked.

Tak gave him a _yeah right_ look. "Dib-Human, my home planet's legal system is about ten times more complex and merciless than yours. If the authorities had caught me, I might have seen a court in about fifty years."

"Oh…," Dib said. "So… you are hiding here?"

"No, I'm living here," she said, propping her head up with her hand. "I figured I'd assume a human identity and just disappear. My leaders don't even want Earth. That's why they sent Zim here. So I have no purpose anymore."

Dib looked on sympathetically. It must be hard not having a real home to go to or real friends to be with.

Wait a second! What if this was all a big trick? She was good at manipulating people and therefore she could just be playing his emotions. Just look at her, with her claw like hands, her long, slithering tongue, those deep, intense eyes… those calm and inviting lips…

Dib started to remember why he had a crush on her way back when. "I'm sorry to hear that. But maybe it won't be all bad. Earth is not such a terrible place to live. Who knows, you might even like it," he said, moving the lollipop a little closer to her.

She noticed his gesture and licked it again, savoring its sweetness. She looked up at him, and for the first time, gave him a real, genuine smile. Her face lit up like a thousand stars, pulling at Dib's heart strings. She looked so radiant when she was happy.

Dib caught himself staring and quickly cleared his throat so he could look away. "So… where are you living?"

"Not far from your neighborhood," she said, still enjoying the sugary treat in front of her.

"Care to give me a tour of your new home," he asked. If she accepted, this would give him a chance to get a good look at her base and see if she really was trying to take over the world.

"Sure," she said without a second thought, "But let's wear down this lollipop a little more."

Dib smiled in delighted surprise. "Alright then," he said, returning to the candy. It seemed this was going to be a lot easier than he thought.

* * *

_If you were to go romping around on deviantART. com, you might find a couple pictures that have inspired certain scenes in this fic. I find a lot of good stuff on that website! Go check it out! _


	5. Tempers Rage

Chapter Five- Tempers Rage

Dib walked along the sidewalk, a bright smile on his face. Never had he felt so content and happy. Tak had taken him to her house and literally showed him everything. Not a single trace of the house went unexplored. Mind you, it still had a familiar, Irken atmosphere to it, the rooms colored very dark with odd decorations. It definitely wasn't a human house, but Dib overlooked that. He was so charmed by Tak's new attitude that he found it hard just to think properly when she was around.

Dib began whistling a cheerful little tune as he walked along. But his whistle slowly disappeared when he came up to his house and found Zim sitting on his front step.

Dib quickly looked at his watch. It was five o'clock.

Zim glared at him. "I've been sitting here for an hour. Where have you been?"

"Sorry. The doctor got his schedules mixed up. I had to wait an extra hour just to get in," Dib lied.

Zim just squinted, not sure if he actually believed that story. But all that he cared about was that Dib was back.

Dib walked up to the door with Zim standing close behind him. He had barely gotten the door open when Zim pushed him inside roughly.

"Hey! What are you…," Dib said, turning around to see what Zim's problem was.

But he was cut off. Zim forced his mouth on Dib's violently, pushing him closer to the couch.

"Hey, wait a minute," Dib said, breaking free of Zim's lip lock, "Why the rush, Zim?"

"I have work to do at home and you are already an hour late," he responded. And with a sharp push, he sent Dib flying over the arm of the couch.

Dib landed on the cushions, a little confused at what was going on.

"Can't you wait till I change into something more comfortable," Dib asked, looking at Zim like he was crazy.

"There is no point if you are going to be unclothed anyway," Zim stated, jumping on top of Dib and trying to pull off his black coat.

He managed to get it off and threw it on the floor, so naturally he went for the shirt.

"Zim, wait," Dib cried out.

But it was too late. Zim had lifted up the shirt and was now gazing at the bulletproof vest Dib put on earlier. He just looked at it for a moment, his eyes narrowing at the sight of it.

He looked to the black coat that now lay on the floor. The handle of the ray gun was sticking out of the inside pocket ever so slightly and was just close enough for Zim to reach.

Dib swallowed hard, realizing he'd been caught.

Zim quickly leaned over and snatched up the ray gun out of Dib's coat. "Afraid of the doctor, are we," he asked, holding up the firearm.

"Uhhh…," Dib said nervously.

"What is this for," Zim asked in a chilling tone.

"It's nothing really. I just…"

"What is this for?!" Zim screamed, shoving the barrel of the gun underneath Dib's chin.

"Geez! Calm down, Zim," Dib said, tilting his head back as if to try to escape the gun, "It's just for protection, you know?! So I don't get mugged!"

"Liar! You know as well as I do that most human characters in your world are too stupid to correctly execute acts of crime!"

"Well… yeah," Dib said shrugging his shoulders and nodding his head a little, "But you know how paranoid I am."

Zim glared down at him. As of late, Dib had become more trusting of people, hence his odd relationship with Zim. So the _paranoid_ excuse was a little hard to believe.

"You wouldn't lie to me, would you," Zim asked, moving the gun towards Dib's collarbone.

"Not when you have a ray gun pointed at me," Dib said, looking down towards the weapon.

Suddenly, in the blink of an eye, Dib smacked the gun out of Zim's hand, sending it flying across the room. And without missing a beat, he threw Zim off the couch onto the floor.

Zim landed on his stomach with a loud thud. And before he could even attempt to get up, Dib threw himself on top of the alien and twisted Zim's arm behind his back.

"_Now_ maybe I would lie to you," Dib said, trying to be funny.

"Damn you, Dib-Monkey," Zim cursed, grunting at the pain Dib was inflicting.

"Why do we tease each other like this," Dib asked, a smug, self-satisfied smirk on his face.

"Who said I was teasing? I had the right mind to kill you right there," Zim wheezed, finding it hard to breathe underneath Dib's weight.

"And I have the right mind to break your arm for overreacting," Dib said, holding Zim with all his strength.

"What was that gun for," Zim grunted.

"I already told you. Protection! The news said the crime rate was up so I wore some protection," Dib explained, still holding Zim beneath him.

Zim stopped struggling. Apparently, he either decided to believe Dib's story or just grew impatient with the whole ordeal. He breathed in and out heavily, tired from the fight.

"You okay," Dib asked.

"Yeah," Zim panted, "Now can you let go of me?"

"If you promise never to hold me at gunpoint again," Dib said, completely serious.

"Fine," Zim sighed, defeated.

Dib smiled. "You are so cute when you admit defeat," he said, releasing his prey.

Zim got up off the floor, not saying a word. He brushed himself off, a saddened scowl on his face. Conquered, he began heading towards the door.

"Hey, wait a minute. Don't leave on a bad note, Zim," Dib said, trying to make amends. He walked around in front of Zim. "Hang around and maybe the right moment will present itself," he suggested.

Zim frowned and simply stepped around him. "I do not feel like sharing a mating with you anymore," he said as he opened the door, "I have too much to do anyway."

Dib looked on sadly. "Well… at least promise me you'll come back later."

The alien turned around as he was shutting the door. "Zim makes no promises."

Dib sighed once Zim was gone. "And the day started out so nice too," he said, holding his head. He knew to just give Zim some space. Sooner or later, Space Boy would get lonely and come knocking at his door for another sack session. But his pouts were never predictable. It could take anywhere from a few hours to a few weeks for him to get over it.

"I don't know why I even put up with him sometimes," Dib said, planting himself on the couch.

* * *

_Silly Zim, overreacting like that. I guess they are_ both _pretty paranoid. I hate to ask... but... please read and review! Ew... I sound like every other fangirl on this site. _


	6. Finding Peace

Chapter Six- Finding Peace

Dib lay in his bed, watching the digital clock on his side table closely. It was already eleven in the morning and he really didn't feel like getting up. That is, unless Zim were to come pounding at his door again.

He sat up reluctantly, tossing the blanket aside. His head hurt from all the thinking he had been doing all night. Ever since yesterday, he began to question his weird relationship with Zim. Never had he seen Zim overreact like that. Maybe their affiliation was hurting both of them.

Not to mention, Dib felt a little guilty for lying to Zim. But it wasn't like it was a huge, horrible secret. It was just a couple hours spent with Tak.

"Tak," Dib sighed. Maybe she would have some words of wisdom. He looked to the floor and saw yesterday's pants laying there. He grabbed them off the floor and pulled a small strip of paper out of the pocket. Tak had given him her number yesterday at the candy shoppe, just in case he wanted to talk.

He reached for his cell phone and dialed the number. It rang three times.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Tak. It's me, Dib," he said softly.

"Hey… you alright? You don't sound so good," she said.

"I don't feel so good," he said, rubbing the back of his neck, "Could I meet you somewhere so we can talk?"

"Yeah, sure," Tak said sincerely, "How about Starbucks?"

Dib smiled at the thought of a good cup of joe. "Perfect. In an hour?"

"Sure. I'll see you then," she said, hanging up.

Almost instantly, Dib felt a bit better. He always found it hard to find someone who would listen. And even when Tak tried to take over the Earth so many years ago, she still took the time to listen. The thought made Dib smile. Maybe he finally had a friend who really cared about him.

Dib raised his arm and sniffed his pit. He cringed at the smell and made a frantic dash to the shower.

* * *

Tak sat at the outdoor table, sipping away at some white chocolate mocha thing. When she first began training herself to tolerate earth food, she noticed coffee was particularly easy and enjoyable. It was her new favorite beverage and she found much delight in tasting different beans and flavors.

"Glad you could make it," she suddenly said.

Dib, standing right behind her, closed his mouth once again, annoyed at her perfect timing. So he sat down across from her and took a moment to really look at her. She seemed much happier for certain. In fact, her beauty had nearly doubled since yesterday. There were no bags underneath her eyes and her cheeks had lovely color. It seemed her time with Dib did her a lot of good.

Tak smiled at him and pushed a cup of coffee towards him.

"Is that for me," he asked, surprised by her gift.

"Yes," she said, sipping her own coffee.

"What kind is it," he asked, taking it from her.

"Try it and see," she said, giving him a mischievous smile.

Dib blew into the hole in the lid to cool it off. Carefully, he sipped the coffee concoction and savored its rich flavor.

"My favorite," he said, surprised, "How did you know?"

"Lucky guess," she said, smiling at his delight. "So what did you want to talk about?"

* * *

"I told you Gir! No guacamole," Zim said as he and his loyal SIR unit walked down the street, "We are supposed to be observing human relationships!"

"Why," asked the little blue-eyed robot, his mouth dripping with green dip.

"Because the Dib-Human is acting strangely and I want to know why! I have a theory that if I learn more about the humans' love rituals, I can engage him in the mating without so much drama," he explained, "Do you understand, Gir?"

Gir slurped down another bowl full of guacamole, oblivious to what had been said to him.

"Gir! Pay attention," Zim shouted. But then he stopped very suddenly and gasped. Without a second thought, he jumped behind a bush, grabbing Gir and pulling him into the hiding place as well.

"Ooo! Are we playing hide and seek," Gir asked.

"Shhh! Look over there," Zim said, peeking through the leaves.

Gir squinted his little eyes and looked in the direction that Zim was pointing. "COFFEE!"

"SHHHH! No not the coffee! Look! At that table," Zim stated, pointing at a particular table shaded by an umbrella.

Gir looked again. "It's the big-headed Dib boy! And a pretty lady!"

"Not just any pretty lady! That's Tak! What is she doing here with _my_ Dib-human?!"

"Let's go get a karaoke microphone," Gir said with an idiotic grin.

"Karaoke? Microphone? Yes! That's brilliant! Excellent work, Gir," Zim said, extending a microphone from his pak. "Follow me!"

* * *

"So what exactly would you call your relationship with Zim?" 

"Well… we aren't boyfriends," Dib said, "We don't really love each other."

"So… friends with benefits," Tak asked.

"Not even that," Dib said, holding his head, "We're barely friends as it is. The only reason we tolerate each other is to get laid."

Tak raised an eyebrow, almost embarrassed by what she was about to suggest. "So… f buddies?"

Dib blushed at the term. "I… I guess."

Tak sat back in her seat, sighing lightly. "Let me tell you something about Irken males, Dib."

He looked up at her.

"First and foremost, they live in their own little worlds _all the time_, make-believing they are better than everybody else, rarely admitting their mistakes. And as far as courtship is concerned, they are more eager than your earth rabbits in spring."

Dib listened and was also amazed that she had clearly done her research on earth.

"The only things they are good for," Tak continued, "are dying mindlessly for corrupt leaders and making babies."

He thought about what she was saying. It was almost insane how much sense she was making.

* * *

Zim crawled a bit closer to the table and crouched down behind another bush. He was about ten feet from them, so he carefully positioned his microphone until it started picking up their conversation. 

"So what exactly do you mean, Tak," Dib asked.

"If you are looking for commitment, Zim is the least likely candidate. The only thing he will ever see you as is an easy lay," Tak stated very matter-of-factly.

Zim growled to himself hearing her slandering words. "So that's her little game," Zim mumbled, his eyes blazing.

"Maybe you're right," Dib said, not really sure he wanted to believe it. "I guess you would know more about your males than I would. I guess I've been caught in a pretty unhealthy relationship."

Zim pursed his lips together. _Stupid_ _Dib-Human! He cannot get sick from mating with me… or can he_, Zim thought to himself, rubbing underneath his chin. _No matter! Tak is clearly trying to divide and conquer! This must be part of her plot. I must inform the Dib-Stink of this at the next opportunity. _

Zim retracted his microphone and crept away from the table silently. Once he was out of their sight, he grabbed Gir and ran as fast as he could back to his base.

* * *

"Thank you, Tak," Dib said, squinting his eyes in thought.

"Anytime," she said, "Don't ever hesitate to give me a call."

Her offer made him smile slightly. Was that last proposition a flirt or a friendly outreach? Well, what did he have to lose?

"So… what are you doing tomorrow," he asked.

* * *

_EDIT: I went back and read this chapter and decided I absolutely detested it. So the one you just read is really the revised version. I changed a lot, so I'm sorry to those of you who liked the old version. It bugged me way too much. _


	7. The Break Up

Chapter Seven- The Break-Up

Once again, Dib's peaceful slumber was interrupted by a loud banging on his front door. But this time, it was far too late for anyone to be visiting.

Dib looked up at the clock groggily. It was three in the morning.

"There's only one idiot dumb enough to knock when there is a doorbell," he said very irritably. "Zim…"

Dib opened the door, a grumpy frown on his face. He was already pissed off at Zim from talking to Tak. But now, the idiot was pounding on his door at three in the morning.

"What!?" Dib almost shouted at Zim.

The alien wasted no time. "Come Dib, I have to inform you of our newest enemy," he said, pushing his way past Dib to get into the house.

Dib rolled his eyes. "Listen, Zim…," he began while shutting the door.

"Now I know you are already aware of her presence here because I saw you talking to her at the earth coffee purveyor," he said, putting his plans down onto the couch.

"Zim, wait," Dib tried to interrupt.

"I managed to overhear your conversation and I can already tell you what her plan is," he continued.

"Zim! Shut up!"

Almost instantly, Zim shot him a surprised yet annoyed glare.

Dib was standing there, very irritated. "You eavesdropped on us?!"

Zim looked around as if he was surprised Dib was asking. "Yes," he said very obviously, as if it were no big deal at all.

"You little bastard!"

Zim was clearly confused by Dib's reaction. "What's the problem, Dib-Stink," he asked.

"You're the problem, Zim," Dib said, pointing an accusing finger at the green alien.

"Nonsense," Zim said, wondering what had gotten into his partner. "Tak is the problem! She is trying to turn us against one another!"

"No Zim! _She_ is the one making the most sense," Dib stated.

Zim squinted, still wondering what Dib meant.

Dib could see his confusion and decided that enough was enough.

"We are through, Zim," he said.

Finally, it clicked. "You are breaking our partnership!?"

"I'm breaking up with you! No more visits to my house, no more movies, and no more sex," Dib shouted, "As far as I'm concerned, things are back to the way they use to be. You and I are enemies."

Zim blinked a couple times. "You actually believe that we should not be partners?"

Dib put his hand to his forehead and growled in frustration. "You see, Zim! This is what I mean! This is not a relationship to you! You don't see me as anything but a good time! For once, I want someone who actually cares about me. Some I can rely on to be there for me when I need them. And you could never be that."

And for the briefest moment, Dib could see a streak of hurt and sadness go through Zim's eyes. But it did not last long.

"How dare you," Zim said, clearly holding a lump in his throat. "This is what I'm talking about! Tak's trying…"

"Tak! Tak! Tak!" Dib mimicked him in a taunting voice, "You know what, Zim? Stop blaming others for your own incompetence! Start taking responsibility for yourself! You have no one to blame but yourself! That's why you suck as an Invader and why your leaders banished you here!"

Zim froze. His bottom jaw quivered a little in a pout.

Dib pointed towards the door. "Get out of my house," he whispered.

Zim blinked in response, but began gathering up his things in silence.

Dib went to the door and held it open as Zim walked through. "Not even a goodbye," the little alien asked, turning around once he was outside. But the only answer he got was a shut door.

Zim sighed, but he refused to cry; that is, until he felt the small drop of water on his face. And with that it began to rain. But it was a silence rain, barely making a sound as it hit the sidewalk. Zim had remembered to bathe in paste, so the wetness did not bother him. But it did make him feel a lot worse. And as he began his walk home, he could not help but let one tear, as silence as the rain, run down his cheek.

"So this is what it feels like," he said, "a broken heart…"

* * *

_Ewwww... corny love stuff. I know, the old cliche of a broken heart walking in the rain. But it just works so well! Sorry about my disappearance. I've been working hard! _


End file.
